


tell me I'm no longer needed

by loveless_klark



Series: Broken Souls [2]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Best Friends, Clarke's got some fairly bad mental issues, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff, Loneliness, Mental Health Issues, Roommates, Sad Clarke Griffin, Sleepy Cuddles, don't read if that sounds triggering, hopelessness, like feelings of being unwanted
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:15:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25287430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loveless_klark/pseuds/loveless_klark
Summary: “I care. About you.”She just laughed, hitching into a sob at the end. “Not enough. No one cares enough. I’m nobody’s first choice and I never will be because no one wants to deal with my fucking burdens.”~ or where Bellamy gets home from a long trip to find Clarke in his bedTw for feelings of hopelessness
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin
Series: Broken Souls [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1832059
Comments: 4
Kudos: 75





	tell me I'm no longer needed

**Author's Note:**

> Hello my loves!
> 
> So my mental health has been going down again, yay, and I'll pretty often have a span of time where I just feel like nobody loves me and I'll never be anyone's first pick because why would I be.
> 
> So this is how I cope with it.
> 
> I need help.

Bellamy closed the door to his apartment, the click sounding loud in the night's silence. The clock in the main room showed that it was almost one in the morning. He felt it, too. He’d been on the road for hours on end. It was always a joy to visit his sister, but the drive to her college always exhausted him. 

He stumbled into his room, dropping the bags by the door and fumbling for the light switch before a quiet noise caught his attention. Turning, he realized he wasn’t alone in his room. His best friend and roommate lay sprawled across his bed, a thin sheet covering only part of her, golden hair haloed around her head. He stood still for a moment while thoughts flew around his head. Mainly confusion. Why would she be in his room?

Keeping his steps light, Bellamy sat on the edge of the bed. Clarke’s face was burrowed into his pillow, eyes fluttering in sleep, arms tucked up close. He brushed a strand of hair behind her ear, an affectionate smile creeping onto his face.

He leaned closer, hand stroking down her cheek. “Come on, sweetheart. Come back to me.”

She inhaled, sleepy noises coming from her throat as she blinked in confusion, cloudy eyes peering up at him from beneath tired lids. Her voice was rough and raspy. “Bell’my?”

“Hey.” He rubbed his hand up and down her arm. “Missed you.”

Clarke hummed, rolling onto her back and stretching her arms out to him. He chuckled, pulling her up into his arms, shuddering as her sleep-warm breath rolled over his neck. “Missed you too.”

He let himself bask in her heavy comfort for a moment, tucking his nose into her hair to breathe in her scent. “So why were you in my bed?”

Clarke’s body jerked awake. She pulled back from him, scooting farther back, head ducked down in embarrassment. “I-uh, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’ll-” her voice cut off suddenly as she swung her legs over the side and stood. “I’ll leave. Sorry.”

“Clarke, Clarke, wait, please.” She froze, not turning around. Bellamy sighed. “I’m not mad at you.”

She shifted nervously, turning slightly but keeping her head turned away. “You don’t think it’s… strange?”

“I mean, kind of.” She stiffened, edging away. Bellamy rushed to continue, “but I don’t mind. I was just curious. You don’t have to go.”

Clarke finally met his eyes, her own glossy with emotion. “You sure?”

Bellamy smiled. “Of course. Come sit.”

Clarke hesitantly glided over to him, sitting down at the opposite end of the bed to him. Bellamy’s mouth twisted into a frown. “Are you okay?”

Clarke shrugged, face blank. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Clarke, please,” Bellamy said, moving closer. “You know you can tell me anything, right?”

Her eyes flashed up to his, and he could see a glimmer of hope in her expression. He wondered if anyone had ever told her that before. “I’m here for you.”

She opened her mouth but only exhaled a heavy breath, the words getting caught in her throat. A single tear slipped out as she whispered her reply. “I know.”

“Do you? Because you never tell me anything.” Clarke squeezed her eyes shut. “Why not? You’re my best friend, Clarke, I want to help you.”

She only seemed to withdraw farther at that. “You don’t mean that.” Before he could reply, she was cutting him off. “Why would you? Why would anyone?”

“Because people  _ care _ ,” he insisted, reaching out to rest his fingers on her wrist. She flinched but didn’t move. “ _ I care _ . About  _ you _ .”

She just laughed, hitching into a sob at the end. “Not enough. No one cares enough. I’m nobody’s first choice and I never will be because no one wants to deal with my fucking burdens.”

Bellamy’s grip on her wrist tightened and then he was pulling her into him, arms holding her close to his chest. He leaned down to speak into her ear. “Do you know why you’re my favorite?”

He could hear her breath stop.

“Because you’re strong,” he muttered, hand drifting up her spine. “You’re the strongest person I’ve met. You’ve struggled for so long and you still put everyone else before you without asking anything in return. You love so deeply and you deserve that love for yourself, Clarke. Don’t think that no one wants you because they do.  _ I do _ .”

They were both crying by now, Clarke’s tears soaking into his shirt as she clutched onto him. Her voice was broken and hoarse. “Show me.”

He nuzzled behind her ear and hummed in silent question.

“Show me,” she said again, tucking deeper into him. “I’ve spent so long thinking nobody would ever want me that I- I can’t. Words aren’t enough to erase that. I know it’s asking a lot but I ju-”

He interrupted her with a kiss.

She gasped, fumbling in shock, but just as quickly she melted into him. He could taste salt from their tears, could feel the desperation behind Clarke’s lips as she kissed him back. It wasn’t much, but Clarke whined as he pulled away, practically trembling in his arms. He reached up to brush away the wetness on her cheeks. “Is that enough?”

For a moment she only breathed harshly over his lips. “It will be.”

And that was enough for him.

**Author's Note:**

> Come visit me on Tumblr at [Lovelessdyke](https://lovelessdyke.tumblr.com)


End file.
